A Promise To Himself
by Fatal
Summary: Remus and Tonks are finally togher, but a secret and a promise from his past keep him from being completely happy with her. Post Prince
1. The Witching Hour

**Disclaimer**: _Ahem. Only the idea is mine. All characters, names, places, etc., that are known are property of JK Rowlng. I am not JK Rowling, if I were, I'd be going to my editor for this, not to )_

**A/N**_: The plot bunny for this one came to me in a dream. I've expanded it, and well, I think it's coming a long nicely )_

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In the dark of the Witching Hour, Remus pulled Tonks closer to him. Even though she was in a deep sleep, he knew that she smiled because he could feel it in her face against his shirtless chest. He sighed, having not been so content in a very long time. 

Indeed, having a woman at his side was a comfort he had long since forgotten, but only now, with Tonks, did he realize what he had missed those many long years.

Sadly though, just as the Witching Hour would shortly pass, giving way to the golden dawn, he knew that he and Tonks would not always be together, because he knew eventually she'd make the request that he had long since promised himself he would never fill, no matter how much he loved the one who brought the subject into light.

What they had, he accepted, was not normal. Her as a metamorph was enough to be considered strange, but he as a werewolf made the combination all the more, for lack of a better work, ridiculous.

Though he knew that Tonks cared now, and nor did he, or any of those who knew them best, the members of the Order. Alas, he knew also that eventually the taunting from everyone else would prove too much for Tonks and she would leave him.

Or, in an attempt to save her from having to bear witness to his transformations, he'd end up hurting her and she'd leave him.

Whatever the cause, Remus knew that their relationship would not survive, but he was more than willing to bet that it would be because she'd ask for something he could not, and would never do again.

As though she knew he was thinking of her, she stirred in his arms, and within several minutes was awake, blinking slowly. She sat up and looked around, "It's a but dark…" She mumbled, fumbling about for her wand.

"Here," Remus muttered guiltily, and he rose off the couch and felt his way along the nearest wall until he found a light switch, which, upon switching, the light burst on and then with a soft noise, burnt out.

"Oh, yes, Muggle inventions…" She trailed off and looked around. "Do you think they're back yet?"

Remus shook his head.

"And Harry?"

"Still asleep upstairs. I expect he'll want to leave in the morning. Or…" He looked at the great Grandfather clock on the wall, which then read 2:10, "later on this morning…" He reached across to the nearest chair and plucked up his shirt, pulling it on over his head. When he surfaced again, Tonks was just unscrunching her face, her hair now mousy brown, where are seconds before it had been bubble gum pink.

Remus raised his eyebrows in question, and she simply replied, "I don't reckon the Dursley's would have liked it that other way."

"And I don't reckon that they, being the decent people that they are, will come home at two in the morning," he teased.

She merely shrugged, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Oh, I see," said Remus, "you're just showing off again."

"Maybe… But what reason have I got to do that?" Then, without waiting for an answer, she jumped up off the couch and began wondering around the neatly kept, but hardly used, second living room of the Dursley's.

"It's a bit odd how clean they keep it here. It scares me just a bit…"

Remus watched her as she picked her way around the room, in an obvious effort to not beak anything in the dark. She glanced out the window as she walked past, pulling open the curtain as she went, allowing a flood of moonlight to come streaming in, and then turned heel so quickly to go back that she ended up tripping over a poofy footstool and knocking a vase full of flowers to the rug.

It landed with a loud crash, shattered glass flying across the room, leaving Tonks standing in a puddle of water (which, unlike water in most flower vases was sparkling clean, suggesting that Petunia changed it daily) and thorny roses.

Remus, startled by the noise, rushed forward to fix the vase, as if by doing so he'd ensure that Harry remained sleeping, but also because he had this nagging feel that Petunia, halfway across England at the time, would know that her vase had broken and would come crashing through the front door any moment, banishing them from her house forever. Not that Remus (or Tonks, for that matter) would ever want to set foot in the Dursley's house ever again once Harry had left, but still the idea of being made to leave over such a thing as a broken vase on their last night wasn't an idea that Remus fancied.

Especially after how they had been treated during their stay. Which is not to say they had expected to be treated decently in anyway, but they thought they might have been permitted to use the guestroom, at the very least.

For, ever since his return to his aunt and uncle's house a week ago, Remus and Tonks had escorted Harry. Vernon had tried to throw them both from the house, but Harry was able to convince him that they would stay no more than a week, and as he'd be of age shortly, there was no reason for him to ever come back. Finally, Petunia had given in and gave them leave to sleep on the fold out couch in the less used, less visible living room in the back of the house.

However, that was as far as the hospitality of the Dursley's extended. They didn't talk to Remus or Tonks (or, as Remus noticed, Harry either), nor did they cook for them, or allow them to use any other room but the bathroom, but lay down a quick law that they were only to shower once in the week they were to be there.

But Remus didn't care all too much. He was with Tonks and Harry, the two people he cared the most about in the world.

Tonks gasped as Remus rushed up to her, but pulled the wand from his hand and looped her fingers through his. "Look at it out, Remus, it's beautiful." She swooned.

Remus, torn between wanting to fix the vase and wanting to remain this close to her, finally gave in to her allure and looked out the window.

Everything was illuminated by the moon (which, Remus noted with a pang, was waxing and by the end of the week he'd have to be taking his potion), and everything seemed to be glowing silver blue. The sky was cloudless, and the stars were just beginning to fade. The moonlight cast tall shadows behind every house, and every blade of grass.

Tonks sighed, "What is it about this time of night that makes me feel so… peaceful?"

"You mean the Witching Hour?"

"…The what?"

Remus squinted his face with concentration, "The Witching Hour."

"Why, Rem, I didn't know you were into such child-like notions." She giggled.

"I'm not. It's what my mom called it, and it kind of stuck with me, I guess…"

Tonks smiled, "And it's reasons like that, that I love you, you know."

Then, quite suddenly she dropped his hands and wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him into a warm, lasting kiss. The two of them stood by the window, perfectly silhouetted by the moon's light, and to Remus, all was right in the world, and all thoughts of fixing the vase were quite forgotten.

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_**Do hope you enjoyed our first chapter!  
Comments are very welcome )**_


	2. Leaving The Dursleys

Leaving The Dursley's

The following morning Remus was awoken by the faint sounds of Harry moving about the room quietly trying to fix the vase and dry the rug. Remus sat up and stretched, waiting for the satisfactory moment when the shoulder of his right arm would crack; sending thrilling chills all down his arm

At the sound of the crack, Harry, who was back-to Remus, froze as though listening for someone who had just apparated.

Remus smiled to himself. After all, the crack did sound like a poorly performed Apparation. "Good morning, Harry," he said pleasantly.

Harry whipped his head around, obviously quite startled. "Professor," he fumbled, slipping back into the habit he'd picked up during his third year of school when Remus had indeed been one of Harry's professors. "I didn't know you were awake. I was just…" He looked away hastily and embarrassed, and Remus knew exactly why.

After all, it wasn't everyday you woke up one of your old professors and his girlfriend by accident in hopes of fixing the things they'd broken doing Lord-Knows- what in the night.

Harry, who was still looking away, his eyes fixed on a spot of nothing on the wall said, "I hope I didn't wake you. I saw the mess and I Aunt Petunia'd have a fit if she saw it, and well, I was trying to fix it as quiet as I could…"

Remus smiled, "Don't worry, Harry, you wouldn't have woken anyone else. See," he pointed to the sleeping form of Tonks on the other end of the couch, "she's still asleep." He smiled again.

Harry mumbled an apology, but Remus simply stated, "Not to worry. It's the werewolf in me, my hearing, as well as all my other senses, are better than everyone else's." He rose and helped Harry fix the vase and everything else within the room that was broken or just plain out of place.

When they were done, Remus looked to Harry's trunk. "So you're ready to leave, then?"

Harry nodded, "Well, the wedding is in two weeks."

"True that is it, that doesn't mean you have to leave so soon."

Harry laughed, which, Remus noted, was the first time he'd heard him do so since Christmas. However, before he could comment, Harry pressed on, "You think I'd stay here and longer than I have to? Besides, I'd like sometime with Ron and Hermione before I leave for Godric's Hollow."

"And what about Ginny?"

Harry looked around, as though avoiding the subject.

"Ah, I see. Ms. Weasley is no longer in your life. This, I suppose is to keep her safe from You-Know-Who?"

"Yeah," mumbled Harry, "I mean, everyone I've loved has died by his hands. I just couldn't risk it with someone else."

"And I suppose you gave her no option on the matter?"

Harry glared at him. "What's the matter! You didn't give Tonks a choice! Look at what it did to her!"

"Harry," Remus began, "that's diff-"

"It's not any different, and you know it!"

Remus, who had come to accept this moody behavior, had put up with it since Dumbledore's death, but would not tolerate Harry implying in anyway that his original decision regarding Tonks was wrong. "Your aunt and uncle will be home shortly, go bring Hedwig down and finish getting ready to leave."

He watched Harry leave the room, and turned down in surprise to find Tonks laying awake looking at him.

"He's right, you know. It's exactly the same." But she simply smiled, "And hopefully, like you, he'll come around and make the right choice."

Remus smiled as well, but quickly the smile melted off his face. "They're on their way back, just at the end of the street."

Tonks jumped up and began throwing off her clothes, while rummaging through her own chest, looking for something to wear. Remus cleared his throat, mumbled something about getting changed elsewhere, and left the room, trunk levitating behind him, leaving behind him, leaving an extremely confused Tonks standing on one foot trying to tug on a sock.

"We'll wait out front while you say good-bye, then, Harry?"

"Oh, yeah… sure," Harry replied, looking as though saying good-bye to the Dursley's was something he thought any sane person should know he wouldn't be expected to do.

Remus shut the front door after them and sat down on the front steps, watching Tonks walk to the edge of the road and stand there, saying nothing. She had been oddly quiet since Remus had left to get dressed, and he had no idea why.

He finally asked, "Something wrong?"

She whipped around in surprise, as if she had quite forgotten that was Remus was there, let alone that he even existed. "Hmm? Oh, no." She answered absentmindedly.

"Come off it, what's wrong?"

"Are you ashamed of me?" She asked rather bluntly.

"What? No! Why, should I be?" He replied, shocked by the accusation.

"Well, to my knowledge you have no reason to be. But every time we're in the same room and I'm getting changed you run out as though I have leprosy or something. We're both matures adults, Remus, you don't need to act as though you're embarrassed by the simple human nature of getting dressed!"

Remus was about to answer when a soft voice came from the garden, "Dear, it seems I've come at a bad time."

Both Remus and Tonks turned to see Petunia Dursley standing several feet away, waist deep in lilies and irises in the garden.

"Mrs. Dursley! Aren't you… Why aren't you in saying good-bye to Harry?"

Petunia stepped from the garden. "I was, but I told him I had some things to give him and I had to go get them. But I have to talk to you, so I slipped out the back and came to talk to you."

Tonks merely nodded, clearly upset by Petunia's interruption. Remus, however, was very thankful for any reason to avoid Tonks' accusations, and said, "You said you have things for him? Won't that upset him that you've lied?"

Petunia scoffed, "I haven't lied, I do have things for hi-"

And Remus, who found this very hard to believe, butted in, "What things?"

Then it was Tonks' who scoffed. I'm sorry, Petunia, some men are so inconsiderate."

This stung Remus, but he found this to be quite the wrong time to say anything of it. Petunia smiled at Tonks and pressed on, "It's business of Harry and I what I have for him, he can tell you if he wants, but that's not my place.

"Now, I know I haven't always been kind to Harry, or shown him the love that an aunt should, but I assure you, this has all been because of Vernon, who found your kind, for lack of a better term, wrong. Once we began dating, I knew to talk of such things, or to visit or say anything nice about Lily and James wouldn't go over well with him.

"Now, this wasn't a hard task as they lived in the magic world, and we in the Muggle world. Lily would occasionally mail me, the Muggle way, of course, pretending the letters to be from old school mates of mine. I would write and mail letters to her in return when Vernon was out of the house, and thus Lily and I kept in touch.

"You must understand, I've always loved Lily, and was fond of James. I think only Sirius was more happy for them when they had Harry, Of course, because of Vernon I never got the chance to see Harry, until the morning I awoke to find him sleeping peacefully on out doorstep.

"Vernon never wanted to take him in, and I'm sure today is the happiest day of both of their lives in away, but, that aside, I forced him to allow Harry to remain here. Not only because it was Dumbledore's wish, but because I knew it would please Lily. However, Vernon made it extremely hard to show any amount of love or respect for the boy, which is why I'm glad that Harry's leaving. He'll be with the people he loves, people like him. For the first time in his life, he'll be free to do whatever he pleases, and one day I'll mail him and tell him all of this…"

She trailed off, as from the house Vernon thundered, "Petunia, where've you got off to!"

Petunia frowned, as did Tonks in a sympathetic way, but Petunia kept going, 'He looks so much like James, but his eyes are so like Lily's that is hurts to look at him sometimes. You see it as well, don't you, Remus? But that won't save him from Voldemort. Remus, promise me that you'll protect him?"

Remus looked rather taken back by Petunia's request, as he found it both odd that she had to ask him such a thing, and odd that she _had_ asked him such a thing.

Again Vernon called for Petunia in the house, and Remus nodded his head. "You shouldn't ever have to ask, but I promise, Petunia." Then he smiled and added; "Lily always talked of you at school, she admired you so much. She was always upset that you missed her wedding, but she understood about Vernon. I think she'd be proud of you right now, you know."

Petunia offered half a smile and muttered a thanks, and before she turned to go back in the house, Remus was certain he saw tears in her eyes.

When she was gone, he turned back to Tonks, who, despite the scene that had just occurred before her, was still glaring at Remus coldly. "Well?" She demanded.

He rose from the steps, but didn't move any closer to her. "I'm not ashamed of you," he whispered, "nor am I embarrassed by it. I just can't stand it. I love you so much, the thought of you, that close to me, wearing next to nothing… It drives me crazy."

Tonks, who had obviously not expected this as an answer, simply muttered, "Oh, Remus…" And they stood in awkward silence until Harry came out of the front door, carrying a small chest in his arms that looked vaguely familiar to Remus, a strange look on his face as he looked back to his aunt who had followed him to the door. She nodded curtly to the three of them and shut the door. But, as Harry turned around, Remus saw her pull back the curtain and stare out after her nephew.

"Well," Lupin said, as Harry approached, "are you ready to leave, Harry?"

Harry nodded almost sadly, and hoisting the chest under an arm, grabbed Lupin's pro-offered right arm.

"Let's go then," Remus said, and within seconds the three of them had turned gracefully on the spot, disappearing into this air, never again to return to the Dursley's.


	3. Treasures Past

**Disclaimer: Ideas mine. Characters and places JK Rowling's. Oh, How I wish I had the money that woman has.**

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When they arrived at the Burrow, Mrs. Weasley, who had been walking about the front lawn with a strange man, came running hastily up to the three figures that had just appeared in the middle of the path leading to the house. 

"Ah, Harry! It's so good to see you! We've all been worried sick. Have you ate eat?" And she went on fussing over him, trying to make his hair lay flat.

"No, really, Mrs. Weasley, I'm fine. Where's Ron?"

Looking taken back, she stopped pushing at his hair and smiled to cover up her disappointment at not being able to help him more in anyway. "I believe they're up in his bedroom, dear."

"They? Oh! Hermione's here already?"

"Yes, she arrived just yesterday. Now, you run along and go catch up with everyone. I'll make lunch shortly." Again she smiled as Harry took off running.

"Remus, Tonks, you should have sent word you were coming today, I could have had everything ready for your stay."

Remus replied, "Don't worry about us, Molly, you probably have a full house anyway. We'll stay at Tonks', we don't want to intrude."

Mrs. Weasley put on a stern face. "I won't have that. You'll stay here and tent out in the back like all the other wedding guests, and that's final. Now, Tonks, dear, could you come help me with the wedding planner?"

Remus was left standing in the middle of the path alone. However, he wasn't standing there long before he saw Harry walk out of the front door. Remus immediately set towards him in worry, as he was quite pale and looked rather stunned.

"Harry, are you alright?" Remus asked as he reached Harry's side.

"Huh? Oh… Yeah, fine." Harry said, but Remus could tell it was an obvious lie.

"Did you run into Ginny?"

"No," Harry said, looking taken back.

"Well then, what's wrong?"

"Just that I, err, that is to say… Ron and Hermione…" He trailed off, rather embarrassed.

"Oh," Remus replied in complete understanding. "Did they see you?" he asked as an after thought.

"I don't think so, that had their eyes closed. …Isn't that how everyone kisses?"

Remus smiled heartily, "Well, it is considered ruse to stare."

Both he and Harry started to laugh, and when they were done Harry spoke; "Erm, Remus?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Well, my aunt gave me this box," he jerked the chest under his arm, "and she said, well she didn't say who it was from, but that she'd had it for a long time and she thought it was time that I got it."

He was quiet for a long minute, but Remus didn't say anything because he knew Harry wasn't done.

"I think it belonged to my dad," Harry finished at last, "it's got his initials on it."

Remus looked down to the chest and suddenly knew why it looked so familiar. How often had he seen that chest in his school days, during a time that seemed as if it belong to an entirely different person? Harry was right; the chest had belonged to James.

"You're right, Harry, it was your dads. We all had one just like it, James, Peter, Sirius and myself. They were Christmas presents from James' parents, your grandparents in our third year."

Harry smiled, "Well, I was wondering, would you like to be with me when I open it?"

Remus faltered slightly in his step; he had not expected that, and it made him feel guilty that Harry was turning to him when he rightly should have been turning to Sirius.

"Are you sure, Harry?"

"Of course. I think you'd really like it, and it would mean a lot to me. Will you, please?"

Remus, who had promised Sirius he'd look after Harry should anything happen to him, would have said yes to Harry even if he hadn't made the promise to Sirius, simply said, "Of course Harry, of course I will."

"We'll open it tonight, then." Harry said, as Ron and Hermione came hurtling out of the house towards him. "I'll find you after supper, then?"

Remus nodded, leaving Harry to run off to be with his friends.

Later that night, Remus sat alone at one of the tables in the yard, waiting for Harry to show up with the chest.

He'd spent most of the day catching up with Moody who was also camping in the backyard, but he'd also gone to Diagon Alley, simply because there hadn't been much else to do with Tonks busy with Molly all day.

Out of the darkness Harry came walking up to Remus. "Ron and Hermione wanted to come too, but I promised them I'd show them everything later. Besides, I expect they'll be …busy."

"Did you tell them you walked in on them earlier?"

"No!"

"And have they told you they're together?"

"No, but I don't think they really are together yet. I mean, you know, it just seems like they've just realized they like each other, but can't admit it yet. Then, when the kiss, they keep making excuses for it. I think that's where they are…"

Remus smiled, remembering all too well the stage of relationship that Harry meant. "Oh well, they'll admit it yet. But for now, how about that chest?"

Harry smiled as well, "Yeah, we should." Then he pulled a chain from under his clothes, on which hung a key that Remus recognized as the one for the chest, and a gold locket that Remus couldn't place at all.

"Harry, what's that?"

"Oh, that… I can't tell you about that, Professor. Not yet at least, sir."

"I respect that, Harry." Remus nodded, watching as Harry unlocked the chest, and lovingly opened the lid, while tucking the chain back under his robes.

Remus looked in the box and was surprised to find a letter addressed to Harry on top, the name scrawled across in James' writing. "Ah, he always intended for you to have this, then…" he mumbled, as Harry picked up the letter and began to read it. Remus waited in silence as Harry read the letter, before handing it to Remus, tears in his eyes.

"Are you sure, Harry?" He asked gently, but Harry only nodded.

Remus took the letter, and holding it up, began to read what James had written so long ago for his son.

_Dear Harry,_

_If you're reading this, it means that your mother and I are no longer with you, and that you must be coming of age shortly. We left this in Petunia's possession, knowing that if we were to be killed, that is where you would probably end up._

_I'm sure that the man you've become would make us both, your mother and myself, proud, and our only regrets are that we couldn't be there to see you grow, or aid you to become the man you have become._

_We can only hope that our friends have had a part in watching and helping you grow, and that they – Sirius, Remus and Peter – have passed along all their good traits and talents on to you. If this is the case, your mother and I need not worry because they are three of the best men imaginable._

_I don't know how much of your past with us you know about, or even how old you were at our deaths, but we hope that the your time spent with us will always be remembered, and that in our deaths we were able to ensure your survival._

_Evan as I'm writing this, Sirius is here looking after you. Never have I seen a man love a child who was not his own as much as Sirius loves you. Should we die it's him we'd want you to live with, but the future is entirely uncertain._

_We're preparing to go into hiding to help save you. Sirius, your Godfather (as I hope you have long since known), is going to become our secret keeper, as I trust him not only with my life, but the lives of you and Lily._

_Well, Harry, I'd love to give you lots of advice, but I'm sure you know what I'd say anyway. Besides, there are people alive out there right now who could give you advice better fitted to your situation, which I must sadly say, I know nothing of._

_I hope you're not sad that we are no longer with you, but happy that you're alive, and that we will one day meet again. But until then, our friends will protect you with their lives, so I shan't count on meeting you again anytime soon._

_Just remember, we love you, and love is the greatest force in the world._

_With love, my son,_

_James_

Remus looked to Harry, who no longer had tears in his eyes, but was smiling. "Is that how he talked?"

"Oh yes, your father had an uncommon, but wonderfully poetic side when he wanted to."

They sat in silenced for several minutes before Harry found his voice. "Well, let's keep going then…"

The first thing that Harry pulled out was a well-used, red leather bound notebook, the cover reading; _Accounts of the Dark Lord_. Harry scrunched his face, "Is this Voldemort's? Why did my dad have it?"

Remus knew though that there was much more to it than that. "Oh, no, Harry, it wasn't Voldemort's. In fact, I think you'll quite find that this particular item belonged to your mother.

Harry flipped through it, noting the difference in the writing between it and the letter from James. "How did you know it was hers?"

"Because we all had them, all the members of the Order. And they were all a different color. I saw Lily with that journal as often as I saw her with you. I'd recognize it anywhere. We used then to record all our encounters with the Dark Lord and her servants; Death Eater, giants, Dementors, that sort of thing.

"After the down fall of Voldemort, Dumbledore gathered everyone's journals, always wishing that he had managed to get Lily and James', as they were among the ones who fought in almost every battle…

"This will prove useful to you in your attempt to destroy Voldemort, Harry."

Harry, who under any other circumstance would have found this notebook an amazing and wonderful find and would have spent hours perusing through it, now found himself more enthralled by the idea of what else may be in the box.

"Hey look!" he exclaimed, retrieving something else from the small chest, "was this one my dad's?" He asked, eagerly, holding up a notebook identical to Lily's, expect that it was bound in blue leather, and seemed to be in much better condition.

Remus nodded, knowing full well why Lily's looked more used. James was never one to waste time writing things when he knew someone else was doing the same thing, so he hadn't used his journal for several years. When Lily found out, she'd taken it upon herself to do both journals.

"What else is there, Harry?" Remus asked, now hardly able to contain himself.

Harry dug about in the chest; his eyes closed, and pulled out a silver hip flask, looking extremely puzzled by it when he opened his eyes.

"You father was very fond of Moody, Harry, and took several ideas from him…"

"Ah." Harry said quietly, already looking in the chest again, and pulling out a thing gold chain that appeared to sever only one purpose, to hold two rings.

One was a small, gold, and slender, holding a decent sized diamond; it was quite obviously a woman's ring.

Remus recognized it as the engagement ring James had given Lily. "Oh, that one," he said, pointing to it, "was the ring your father gave Lily when he proposed. Unless I remember incorrectly, it's a Potter family heirloom. And the other, see if you can figure it out yourself."

Harry regarded the second ring for a while. It was a male ring; gold, with a handsome ruby set into its face, each edge of the ruby gilded with gold. There was a shinny, gold 'J' set in gold on the ruby. Etched into the band was a small stag.

"Well, it was my dad's, right?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't you mother's. Can you imagine a delicate thing like Lily walking around with that on her hand?" Remus looked stern, but Harry laughed, as he knew it had been a joke.

"Indeed it was James'. It was his Marauder's ring. Like the chests, we all had one, only they weren't from the Potters. They were gifts from Sirius one each of our fifteenth birthdays. Here," he extended his right arm to show Harry a similar ring on his own hand, the only difference was that it was an 'R' and not a 'J' on the stone, and a howling wolf on the band.

"Did Sirius still wear his?"

Remus thought for a moment, "Yes, I believe that he did."

Harry pulled the ring on, it was a bit of a tight squeeze because it was still on the chain.

"It looks good on you," Remus muttered.

"Yeah…" Harry trailed off, taking the ring off and sitting it loving with the other objects from the chest.

"It's a wonder there's not a letter in there from Lily…" Remus said quietly, as Harry pulled out the next object.

"You were saying?" Harry grinned as he pulled open a letter. "It's from my mum." He smiled and pulled open the letter, but when he was don't reading it, he didn't hand it to Remus.

Harry looked guilty, "She didn't want anyone else to read it."

Remus shrugged, accepting Lily's request silently.

"This is the last thing," Harry spoke, as he pulled out yet another notebook. He began flipping through the pages, a smile breaking across his face. "Look, Remus! Pictures! I've never seen most of these before!"

And for the nest hour Remus and Harry pooled over the album, Remus telling Harry what he remembered from the pictures and events.

Finally, at long last, when the moon was high in the sky, and the hour nearing midnight, Harry flipped to the last page, which contained a picture of James, Remus, Sirius and Peter, with Sirius holding a baby Harry. Under the picture, Lily had written: _My Five Marauders._

Soon after, Harry went to bed, but Remus sat up for many more hours, reflecting on his younger happier days with his friends, until finally Tonks came and insisted he go to bed.

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_Well now, that was a short interval ) But, you know why? It's because I already had these first two chapters posted elsewhere (HP-B) for several weeks, and just hadn't had the time to set up the story here on FF. However, now, both places will be updated at the same time :)_

Loziret, why thank you :) And you're right, Remus would call her "mum," although so far as I can tell, it's pronounced the same way... And I'm positive that in the rough coppy I had it spelled "mum." But, that's what I get for being Canadian and not British, I suppose. Glad you like Smiles


	4. The Secret Keeper

The Secret Keeper

The next couple of days passed pleasantly, with people coming and going all the time, making it hard to be bored, especially with Molly always setting tasks for everyone to do in light of Bills and Fleur's approaching wedding. At one point, Molly insisted that everyone who had nothing else to do were to be cleaning the house, which, although much cleaner, reminded Remus of two summers past cleaning Sirius's house for the Order.

With the wedding fast approaching, as it always is near weddings, rumors were flying about as to various other couple that could be getting married. Of course, Remus and Tonks were a favorite, but Remus just became grumpy at these suggestions because he knew what the ideas of weddings led to with women. Instead, when people asked him if he had plans of marriage, he would tell them to be more concerned with the wedding at hand, and to stay out of his business, thank you very much.

Tonks, on the other hand, _loved_ all the wedding talk, and, although she never flat out said that she would marry, she was adamant that she could change Remus' mind on the matter. A task, Remus knew, was pointless, especially after the promise he'd made to himself so long ago.

"Remus! Remus!"

Tonks disturbed Remus from yet another nap one morning. This had become an increasingly annoying factor of the whole wedding business, and he told himself it was just one more reason never to get married.

"Wha?" he grunted, desperately wishing to get back to sleep.

"Molly wants us to go to Headquarters."

Remus rolled over, as far as he knew no one had been to Number Twelve since Dumbledore's death. The members of the Order had decided that until a new Secret Keeper was picked, no one should be seen coming or going.

"What for?" he asked grumpily.

"I don't know. But she said it's important. We're to meet Minerva there. Now get you, lazy pants."

"Will you let me sleep when we get back?"

"Yes, fine. Now let's go!" Tonks stood up, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor, which only irritated Remus more.

_Women_, he thought to himself, _they've got no more patience than tourists. _He stretched, waiting for his shoulder to crack, and then left the tent.

Several moments later, after Apparating into a clump of tresses at the end of Grimmauld Place, Remus and Tonks approached the front door of Number Twelve.

"Er, should we just go in?" Tonks asked, apprehensively.

_As if I should know. You're the one who made me come, remember? _Remus muttered to himself. He wasn't about to forgive her for waking him up anytime soon.

As soon as she'd said it though, the door opened and Minerva McGonagall was sweeping them inside, into the front hall.

"Good afternoon," she started, before turning to look at them. "Remus, have you been sleeping well? You're looking a little under the weather."

"Good day to you, too." Remus scoffed and scrunched his face up in distaste.

"You'll have to excuse him," Tonks butted in, "it's his time of the month."

Minerva smiled a rare smile and waved her hand, "No matter, Tonks, it's quite alright, I'm in a bit of a hurry anyways. I've got a meeting with the Councilors fairly soon."

"OH!" cried Tonks, "Will Hogwarts be remaining open?"

"That's what the meeting is about, we have yet to reach a decision…"

Remus, who was quite put out by what Tonks had said about him strode from the front hall and into the kitchen.

"Remus, come back here!" Tonks hissed, only to be interjected by McGonagall.

"No, it's quite alright, we don't want to wake Mrs. Black up…" she said, as she set off after Remus into the kitchen, followed closely by Tonks, who kept giving the wall hanging a wary look.

As they settled around the kitchen table, Remus couldn't help but think of happier times spent with Sirius in that room, but his thoughts were swiftly cut off by McGonagall.

"Now, as you know, Albus was the Secret Keeper of the location of the Order. Now that he has died, that secret has died with him, and only the ones he told will continue to know the location. However, while this may seem safer than having a living Secret Keeper, I assure you, it's not.

"The Secret _wants_ to be told, and when there's no one who can freely tell it, it will begin to sit in the mind of anyone else who knows it as something that should be told. But, bound by magic as we are, we're unable to tell I, but it – the secret, – doesn't know that. It will keep pushing your will to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, until you finally lost your mind from wanting so desperately, but not being able to tell the secret.

Thus it would be that those who know the secret would all eventually be gone, and the secret would be lost forever."

She was quite grave as she took a breathe before continuing, "Or, it could be much worse. There are many of those accomplished in the Dark Arts who can, once they know the Secret Keeper is dead, get the truth out of those who know. We believe that Voldemort is able to, and will take the Secret from Severus Snape. However, he will be quite unsuccessful until the Secret wants to be told, and, as we can all tell, this has not happened yet. It could, however, happen at any moment, which is why a new Secret Keeper must be put into place.

"I have consulted many members of the Order, and they all said the same thing. They all said you should be the Secret Keeper, Remus. Would you do it?"

Remus didn't need to think twice, as he knew there were some things worth dying for, and that protecting the Order was one of those things.

"Yes."

Tonks gave a gasp beside him and put his hand on his arm, "Remus, you can't!"

McGonagall cleared her throat, "It's his decision, Tonks."

"But he could die, Minerva!"

"Just as easily as you could, as you well knew when you joined the Order!"

Tonks got up and huffed from the house, the sound of slamming doors left in her wake.

"I hope this won't affect you decision, Remus." McGonagall said.

"Of course not, Professor. While I may love her, I know that this is much more important, and it is something I will take on, and do with pride."

McGonagall smile, "Shall we begin, then?"

Outside, Tonks stood staring at the house, which suddenly vanished into thin air, and she was left wondering what she'd been looking at.

Suddenly, Remus Apparated by her side, and whispered, "Order of the Phoenix, Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place," and again Tonks could see the house, and the figure of Minerva emerging from the front door.

"Thank you, Remus! Make sure you tell the other members!" McGonagall said, as she swept past.

"Good luck at your meeting! Do your best for Hogwarts!" Remus cried cheerily.

Tonks looked at Remus sadly, suddenly very aware that he'd done what she'd asked him not to. "And what if you die because you're the Secret Keeper?"

"Then I die doing my task, and I'll die with the knowledge that Headquarters is safe."

Tonks frowned, "I meant about me. Would you die rather than be with me?"

Remus found it an odd question, as he understood perfectly that that wasn't what he'd meant at all by becoming the Secret Keeper, and he didn't see how she could even think that. "You know that my decision to put myself in an endangered position for the Order had nothing to do with how I feel about you. You should well know that just because I love you, it doesn't mean that I'll drop my first and most important duty, which is to the Order."

"Remus, I'm in the Order too, but I would have given the decision more thought!"

Remus rounded on her, "Which shows that you don't really understand what the Order is about, that some things are worth dying for! It shows that you'd put your happiness above the safety and continuance of the Order, which is the only hope for our World!

"I understand all of that, and I've had many of my friends and loved one give their life for that same cause, How would they feel if I'd not done what was asked of me for something they died for? How would I feel knowing I'd passed up the chance to defend that, and to die with pride as they had!"

Tonks tried to cut in, but Remus wouldn't have it. "I've lost James and Sirius, and now Dumbledore, and while I would love to spent a very long time with you, I'd also love to go and meet them in death. They have my heart too, Tonks!"

With that, he spun angrily on the spot and disappeared, leaving a very stunned, and very hurt Tonks standing alone in front of the graying old house.


	5. Wodniw

Disclaimer: Ahem. I am not JK Rowling. Nothing here belongs to me, except the lamely names of Wodniw and Rood, which you might notice are just "window" and "door" spelled backwards... Also, if I were JK Rowling, I'd be stinkin' rich, richer than the queen, and I'd have no idea what to do with that much money. As it stands, I'm just Carly, and I just dabble in the art of FF.

A/N: This is the longest chapter yet (thought not as long as "Halloween" from my "Remembering" fic...), and I think it's the best I've written. But that's just me, give it a go and see what you think. And I would really appreciate if you guys would all review, 'cause I'd really like to know your thoughts on this chapter.

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Remus appeared in the middle of a street thousands of miles from where he had left Tonks. He looked around, although the village had long since been deserted, it was where Remus had spent his childhood, and he would forever call it home. 

In the dying daylight, Remus walked east, away from the setting sun. He still remembered where his old house was, but then, he doubted he'd ever forget, even if he lived a thousand lives over, he knew he wouldn't forget the location of the building where Greyback had attacked him.

He looked left and right for any form of civilization, but knew that no one lived in Wodniw because of the havoc Greyback and reeked on it's citizens, not only the Lupin's, but many of the other households in the village. Ever since that fateful night, the town had been pronounced cursed, and had long since been deserted.

Remus found that he couldn't stay away, though. This was because of all the children attacked in Wodniw by Greyback, he was the only one who survived, and when he felt as he did after his fight with Tonks, he liked to go to their graves and say he was sorry that they had died while he had lived, but was also glad because they had escaped the horrors though which he had lived.

Remus picked his way towards the cemetery. As he walked past they graying houses with unkempt front lawns and boarded up windows, he couldn't help but feel devastated at how hideous his beautiful childhood home had turned out, and that somehow, it must have been his fault.

He walked past house after decapitated house, feeling angry at the mere thought of Greyback, who had made him what he was, and who had become so much in touch with the werewolf within that he attacked the innocent now even when he was in human form.

What Remus didn't know about Greyback, however, was that he was sitting in wait in Remus' old house, waiting to serve Remus with the most important ultimatum in Remus' life.

Remus trotted on, now in total darkness, curing at himself for not having apparated closer, but deciding that he was close enough now to continue on with his walk.

Finally, at long last, he reached the cast-iron fence surrounding the graveyard. He walked on until he reached the gate, which, when he pushed it open, gave a loud screech that stung Remus' sensitive ears. He ignored it, however, and pressed on until he reached the enclosed area in the center of the cemetery where all of Greyback's victims were buried.

Remus sat among the chipped, moss covered headstones for a very long time, watching the moon rise, feeling increasingly angry at the thought that he'd be transforming in a few short nights, but even more angry at how he'd argued with Tonks.

As he sat, he began to think of ways to make up to Tonks, when suddenly he sat up very alert, sniffing at the air hastily.

He gave himself only enough time to realize that he indeed smelled what he thought he'd caught a whiff of before standing up and sprinting across the moonlight graveyard.

He hurried past headstones, each one a blur as he hurtled past and over them. He reached the street within seconds, and smelling the air, spun left on towards Rood St.

Once on Rood St,. he slowed down slightly, knowing instantly that the smell was coming from his childhood house. He pushed on and on, his lungs screaming in agony to have liked to died, and in one agile movement had jumped over the overgrown hedge running the circumference of the property.

Remus didn't have to search the house long before he realized that the smell was coming from the master bedroom. He walked the old hallway slowly, trying desperately to ignore his childhood memories that came sweeping over him, as well as the dread he felt over what he might find as a scene in his parent's old bedroom.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he reached the rotting door. He extended his hand to push it open, when it swung open of it's own accord, and a cold, raspy voice came from within the dark of the room.

"Ahh, yes, come in, we've been waiting for you, Remus."

Remus walking into the room, his wand held aloft. Once they had adjusted to the dark, his eyes darted about the room, frantically searching for the owner of the voice.

"Fenrir," he growled, "where are you?"

Fenrir Greyback moved silently from the shadows of the room, his traveling cloak falling from in masses from his shoulders. "Ahhh, I knew you'd remember me, Remus, and look, at this! This is where I attacked you, wasn't it?" Greyback smiled sickeningly.

Remus started hard and coldly at his Maker, "What do you want?"

"Ahhh, Remus, you are a werewolf. Use those enchanting powers of yours, the ones I passed along to you, to find out what I want." Silently he studied Remus, "Ahhh, but you won't, will you? You won't accept any powers that come from being a werewolf. Well, if that's the case, I'll tell you.

"You have something that I need, and the only way you'll give it to me is if I have something you need more. Which, I believe that I do."

With that, he pointed lazily to the door connecting the room to the master bath, and called out, "Severus, if you please…"

The name "Severus" brought forth an intense hatred towards Severus Snape that came not only from their past, but from the fact that he had, quite recently, shown his true colors (so to speak), deflecting back to the Dark Lord, killing Dumbledore in his wake.

Remus struggled over what to do, he could attack Snape and risk his own life, or, he could leave Snape be, which wasn't an option that he thought ensured his own safety either. At the very last second he lowered his wand, hoping against hope that whatever they needed was enough to keep him alive.

Fenrir laughed, "Remus, you worry too much. If you simply give us what we need, we can, and will, all leave here very much alive."

Just then, Snape entered, but much to Remus' surprise, he was not alone.

Just behind Snape, slightly hidden by the shadows cast off the furniture, was the levitating form of Tonks.

Remus froze, a growl caught in his throat. Snape merely looked at him, clearly amused at the scene, smiling a twisted smile.

"Well, Lupin, nice to see you again."

Before Remus could retort (as under other circumstances he'd have died to say "Funny, it's not nice to see you), Fenrir spoke.

"Enough of the pleasantries. I'm certain you two know each other. Now, Remus, have a seat, and we'll talk some business."

Remus, however, had no intention of sitting down to a conversation with Greyback. He did, however, have every intention of standing alert, waiting, waiting for what, he did not know, but waiting all the same.

"Ahhh, very well then," Fenrir said after several minutes of silence with Remus refusing the pro-offered seat, "however you like it, Remus.

"We'll just start, and I'll cut the crap. Remus, Nymphadora can leave here unharmed if you tell us where the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is located."

Remus almost gasped, but his intuition told him to keep as many of the cards in his favor as he could. He couldn't imagine how they knew he was the Secret Keeper.

Of course, Snape would no longer know the location, meaning he would know a new Secret Keeper had been chosen, but that didn't explain how they knew it was him, and he doubted they would go this far out of their way on nothing but a mere guess.

As Remus' thoughts raced through his mind, Snape laughed, "Remus, Remus," he muttered, "you've forgotten I know everything that goes on in that silly head of yours. Aside from that, I've been watching Headquarters all week with Fenrir. I knew you'd been chosen as Secret Keeper by that little speech you gave about pride and glory.

"We expected it would be hard to get it from you, but then, you just left your charming girlfriend. She was quite easy to capture, as distraught as she was, don't you know?" Snape smirked, as thought it took a genius to capture a distraught woman.

"So, how'd you find me then?"

"Ahhh, that's where I come in, you see. I Turned you, Remus, normally companionship would have followed, but you understand it was strictly for revenge that I attacked you. All the same, the Bond was there, and with it, I could easily locate you."

Remus' eyes glowed yellow.

"Ahhh, yes, Remus, there werewolf in you shows when you're angry. You would make a brilliant werewolf if you would only embrace that." Fenrir teased, watching for Remus' reactions with an almost perverse pleasure.

Remus wouldn't be swayed. "But you couldn't have known that I was going to be picked as Secret Keeper, so why use Greyback at all?"

Snape laughed, "It's ironic and useful if we need to find and persuade you, but we weren't sure who would become Secret Keeper, and thought that no matter who it was, the threat of a werewolf attack on those who they loved would be enough for them to break their silence." Snape sneered, "It's a brilliant plan, isn't it Remus?"

Remus shrugged, his eyes still on Tonks, "I guess."

Snape smiled with pride.

Fenrir, thought looking quite bored by the small talk, took a step towards Tonks, muttering something about "think I'm useless," and "last minute plans" with an angry edge.

"Now, Remus," Greyback muttered as he walked closer to Tonks and smelled her hair, "why don't we get a move on? We have other places to be."

The hair on the back of Remus' neck stood on end, his eyes glowing manically yellow as Greyback brushed his hand along Tonks' neck. "Leave her alone!" He growled.

"Ahhh, yes, just tell us what we need to know."

"I won't."

Fenrir stepped back, "Severus will have a go at it, then."

Snape walked up to Tonks and pulled out his wand. "Do you happen to the order the Dark Lord likes to follow?" He asked Remus, as Fenrir watched on sneering towards Snape.

"Why would I?" Remus spat back.

Snape merely smiled, "Well, it's simple really. It' s three easy steps; pain, control and death. We follow that order when trying to get what we want. Do you understand?"

Remus made to move between Snape and Tonks, but Snape raised his wand and Remus froze in place. "I don't need you to interfere, but if you want to protect her, then you can just tell use where Headquarters is."

But, as Remus could neither move or talk, he was forced to watch as Snape performed the Unforgivable Curse, Cruciatus on Tonks. He roared with anger inside, but couldn't offer her any help. Her only saving grace, he mused somewhat calmly, was that she was unconscious.

That was when he realized that she wasn't unconscious, but was wide-awake and suffering every moment of the curse.

Remus raised his eyes in comfort to hers only to find the whites of her eyes, her eyes having rolled back into her head in pain. His look of comfort went forever unknown to the woman he loved.

When he was finished, Snape looked pleased, and Fenrir, though still looking like he had something against Snape, smiled, "You'd make a good werewolf as well, Severus."

Then he turned to Remus. "Let him talk at least, Severus."

With a lazy flick of Snape's wand, Remus could himself regain control of his mouth.

"Now, Remus, do you wish the torture on her to continue?"

"No," Remus panted, seeing Tonks' eyes rolling back down into place.

"Then tell us where to find the Order." Fenrir commanded.

"I can't," Remus strained, "and even if I could, what good will it do you? You won't be able to tell Voldemort where to find it!"

Snape laughed, "He doesn't want to know, he's got bugger things to worry about. He's got his reasons for only wanting us to know where Headquarters is. Now, kindly tell us where to find it."

Remus knew full well that if he didn't answer Snape would perform the second Unforgivable Cure on Tonks, the Imperius curse. He also knew that not telling was his life-or-death task.

When Snape had finally gotten enough pleasure out of making Tonks do all sorts of horrid things to herself and Remus both, Fenrir raised his eyebrows, "Tell us, Remus, or Severus won't hold back in killing her."

Remus' eyes found Tonks', and although they were wet with tears they simply said, "Don't tell them, Remus. Don't tell them."

"Alright, I'll do as you wish." Remus said at long last.

"Ahhh, excellent." Greyback hissed in his raspy voice.

"Fenrir, you've done your part, stay out of this," Snape snapped, before turning a glowing face to Remus, "Where's the Headquarters, Remus?"

Then, Lupin looked at Snape and strongly said, "I'm sorry, Tonks, but I can't help you."

Snape understood instantly that Remus was still not going to answer. He raised his wand.

Remus spoke once more, "I know he'll kill her, but at least if he does, you won't be able to Turn her."

"You think being a werewolf is worse than death?"

Snape interjected, finally tired of Greyback's childish attitude, "WHERE, REMUS?" He screamed, so that both Fenrir and Remus flinched.

Remus gave no answer, knowing that Tonks was about to die, but also knowing that he was doing his duty by letting her die. An immense internal struggle raged within him, the opposing forces those of duty and love.

While Remus battled with himself, Snape raised his wand slowing, making it obvious that this was going to be quick, but he'd get sadistic pleasure from it. "Ah," he started out, hate burning in his eyes, ("vah,"), sickeningly slow he uttered each syllable, ("dah,"), until finally he reached "Dav," and then…

"NUMBER TWELVE, GRUMMAULD PLACE!"

Snape lowered his wand, his face a grotesque mask of anger and joy. "Well done, Remus, very well done." He then turned to Greyback, "I'm going on ahead, I'll meet you there."

As Snape disapparated from the room, Tonks and Remus both collapsed into heaps on the floor. Remus pulled himself up, over to Tonks' still form, praying that she was alright, but also that Minerva has not returned to Headquarters after her meeting.

Fenrir smiled a yellow, decaying smile. "Ahhh, like I said, Remus, give in to the werewolf within. Life is much better when you needn't worry about such things as who to save and why."

Remus growled, too worried and tired to do anything else.

"And, as I promised, we're all leaving here unharmed."

"Does he look unharmed to you?"

"She's not dead is she? She's not bleeding or maimed is she? She's not a werewolf, is she?"

Remus shook his head.

"Ahhh, my point exactly. Now, get up and go."

Remus struggled to pull himself up, and once he was upright he saw Greyback pulling Tonks up."

"Thank you. Now give her here."

"Why would I do that?" Greyback asked innocently.

"Because you promised!"

"I did no such thing. I promised we would all leave here alive, and that we will. I never once said who she'd be leaving with."

Remus rushed forwards to grab Tonks from Greyback, but just as he reached them, the floor gave way beneath his feet, and he went crashing down to the next story, landing in an awkward pile on the dinning room table below.

Greyback looked down the hole to Remus, "Ahhh, that was very heroic of you, Remus. I'll be sure to tell her about it once she wakes up, but now we – Tonks and myself – really must be going.

Remus tried to rise as Greyback's head disappeared but found the pain unbearable. He looked down to see why, and discovered that he had landed on a dusty, silver cutlery set, and that several pieces had driven into his skin.

The image of his own body lying flayed in a pool of his own blood, with silver utensils eating away at his skin was the last that Remus ever saw.


	6. The Crossroads

**A/N: It's my birthday, so as my gift to all my readers, you get a chapter )  
Disclaimer: No, I'm still not JK Rowling. I guess I can live with that.  
BTW, No, DD, I wasn't about to end it there. Do enjoy, and please review... 'Cause, like I said, it's my birthday )  
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The silence that had lay over the deserted town of Wodniw was shattered for the first time in decades by two men screamed at each other, and finally the sound of a rotten floor giving way and a body falling through. 

Then, the deathly silence returned, as in an old house, a fallen man lay bleeding to death.

"Remus?" A voice in the dark asked of the man who was lying impaled by knives on an old, oak dinning table.

Remus' eyes flickered under his eyelids, but he showed no other sign of life.

"Remus?" The voice asked again, as the figure of a man walked into a ray of moonlight being cast into the room. Still though, Remus remained motionless.

The voices sighed heavily, "You can't save anyone if you won't try, Rem."

Suddenly, Remus' eyes shot open and he gasped for air; there was only one person who'd ever called him that, ever.

He tried to sit up, but found himself being pushed gently back down onto the table by someone with firm, strong hands. "No, stay down, it'll be easier."

"Easier for what?" Remus asked, but received no answer. No verbal answer, at least, as he suddenly felt one of the pieces of silverware being gently pulled from his thigh.

Strangely enough, this didn't hurt, but relaxed him immensely, and after several minutes, with one final tug, Remus realized that all of the cutlery had been removed.

"You just can't keep yourself out of trouble, can you, Rem?" The voice asked, as it's owner offered Remus a hand and pulled him into a sitting position.

Remus ran his hands over his wounds, and was surprised to feel them healed. As he looked at the holes in his clothes, the other person in the room moved fully into the moonlight.

Only then did Remus dare to look and see who it was, until that point fear had kept him from looking. Whether it was fear of being wrong, or fear of being right about the identity of the person in the room with him, he didn't know. But as he looked, he found himself staring into the face of Sirius Black.

But, it wasn't Sirius as he was as he'd fallen behind the veil; it was the face of Sirius that Remus remembered from before Azkaban. Young and handsome, with full, flowing black hair that fell elegantly into his eyes, and framing the features on his face that once again shone with their former glamour.

Remus surmised that death had been kind to Sirius, in a way that life never was.

"Sirius," he breathed, as he rushed off the table to embrace his departed friend.

Sirius returned the hug heartily, and when they broke apart, he was beaming, as Remus had never before seen him smile.

"I've been watching you, Remus. In spite of is all, you've never lost your face, you've always remained true to the Order."

Suddenly it dawned on him. If he were talking to Sirius, actually touching him, then he must be dead as well. He shook his head, "Then you saw me betray the location of Headquarters, and now Greyback has Tonks, and now I'm dead and can't make any of it better."

"Don't worry, Rem. They won't hurt her, she's useful to them, or else they wouldn't have bothered to take her at all.

"As for Headquarters, they – Snape and Greyback – can't tell anyone where it is, and once the Order picks a new Secret Keeper, those two won't even remember where it is anymore. You'll see, everything will work out."

Then, almost as an after though, he added, "Oh, you're not dead."

"Not dead?" Remus asked, taken back. "How am I talking to you, then? I mean, you're dead, right?"

"Of course I am. Don't worry, I haven't just been hiding away this past year, Harry and you would never forgive me that." He sighed sadly, "Yes, Rem, I am dead."

"How then?"

"You're not dead, nor are you alive. You're in the ether, The Crossroads. Everyone comes here after they die, before they pass on. Here they are given the option to continue on and pass, or to return to life."

"Why doesn't everyone just go back, then?"

Remus had never seen Sirius look more offended in all the years he'd known him.

"I mean… wouldn't that make sense?" He asked, trying to fix his unintentional offence.

Maybe it makes sense to people who aren't ready to pass yet, who have a reason to keep on living. Whether we chose to live or pass depends not on what we want, but on what we know we have left to do."

"The seems like a mighty faulty idea." Remus scoffed.

"You're not ready to pass. If you were, you wouldn't question it, Rem."

"But you died! Are you saying you had nothing left to do in life?"

"That's correct."

Remus gaped at Sirius. "You can't be serious, Sir. There were things! There still are! You had to have your innocence proven! You have to see that Harry's safe!"

Sirius sighed, "No, Remus. Everyone knows that I'm innocent now; I don't need to be around for that. As for Harry? You promised you'd look after him, and so you do. And he'll always be safe as long as there are Order members around. There was no need to me to remain on Earth, any longer."

"But what about me? I need you, Sirius."

"You're doing just fine living without me, Rem."

"It's not that! I miss you!"

"Well, there's no reason to, you're surrounded by people who love you. Besides, I told you, I've been watching you."

Ignoring how the comment sounded somewhat stalker-ish, Remus plowed on, "But you haven't been there for me! I don't want to live without you anymore! I'm done hurting, Sirius! I've been through too much, lost too many friends! I'm done! I choose death!"

"I know you have! I did too, but you, you've got things left to do. This place, these Crossroads, it's just for the living and the dead. You're not the first one to be here who wanted to die when they _knew_ that they still had reason to live!

"Think, Remus, think! This pain you feel of losing everyone! Do you want the people you leave behind to mourn for you as you did for me, as you did for James and Lily?"

Remus looked away in shame. "No, but you chose to let us all suffer."

"You're right, I did, and look and what my death has done! It's assured that the truth about Peter has come out; it has spurred Harry to realize that he's got to do! And you, with Tonks, you know if I were still alive you that wouldn't have happened so soon. My death brought about great good, yours won't, Remus."

Suddenly, Remus knew that Sirius was right.

"You'll be going back now, Remus." Sirius said softly, as though each word cut through him like a knife.

"Will I see you again?"

"I don't have that knowledge, Rem, no one does, no really."

"Then how'd you know I was here?"

"I told you, I've been looking in on you."

Sirius looked over Remus' shoulder, and smiled fondly. Remus glanced back and saw the figures of James and Lily silhouetted in a beam of fading light. They both waved, and for a few brief seconds, Remus felt that all was right in the world.

"It's time for you to go back, Rem."

Remus woke up several hours later, still lying on the table. His head pounding, he sat up, only to remember that Greyback had Tonks.

He rolled clumsily off the table, several pieces of silverware falling to the floor as he did so. He looked at them in confusion, vaguely remembering that they'd been stuck in him just as he'd passed out.

He shook the feeling and spun on the spot, disapparating at one for Grimmauld Place, not even daring to think of what he might find as a scene at Headquarters.

As he spun, he thought only of how long he'd been asleep; he had no memory of his meeting with Sirius at the Crossroads of Life and Death.


	7. Tonks' Tale

**Disclaimer: **Same as always. I'm not JK Rowling, however much I might wish to be. I'm simply an 18 year old who drabbles (however poorly) in the art of Fan Fiction. All Charaters and places here-in are not my creations, but those of the aformentioned JK Rowling.

Also, ignore any and all typos I might have made. I've not got enough sleep lately.

* * *

Remus burst from the same clump of bushes on Grimmauld Place that he and Tonks had apparated into the afternoon before. To his surprise, even though it was probably 2:00 in the morning, he found himself rushing straight into a group of teenagers. 

But he didn't have time for apologies, he only had time to think of saving Tonks, so he roughly pushed several teems aside and sprinted down the road, ignoring the calls from the teens about "crazy, homeless men," and "insolent drunks."

At the far end of the street, Remus chanced a glance back, to find that the group of teenagers had moved on, and allowed himself a brief second to gloat over the fact that he'd probably scared them off.

He ran through all the rooms of Sirius' old house, only to reach the angst-like conclusion that the house was empty; Tonks was not there, and neither were the traitor or the bloodthirsty werewolf who had stolen her.

Distraught, Remus could think of nothing to so. He collapsed upon the ground, knees pulled to his face, feeling the way he'd felt only one other time in his life; the night Sirius had died.

The only difference between the two times was that Remus knew he wouldn't be able to get Sirius back, but now, if he could only find them, he'd be able to save Tonks.

That thought gave him new life, and he instantly left to get help from the one place he knew there was people to give it; The Burrow.

He arrived on the front lawn of The Burrow as the first colors were etching themselves onto the black canvas of the sky to the east, the palest blue first, followed several seconds later by shades or pink and rose.

He had expected to find the house and tents dark with all their members sleeping soundly, without even the smallest inkling of what had happened since Tonks and he had left the previous morning.

But he was wrong.

He found a small group of people sitting slumped around one of the picnic tables, their pale faces glinting in the lantern light. The all looked up in shock as he appeared, and one of the figures jumped up and rushed to his side. Remus, through groggy, heavy eyes recognized it to be Hermione.

"Professor!" She called, "What happened?"

Molly Weasley jumped up and helped Remus into her vacant seat. She quickly filled a goblet with a hot liquid and sat it in front of him.

"Your Wolfsbane, Remus. Horace has kindly agreed to make it for you."

At the moment, Remus had no thoughts of thanking Slughorn, but only of finding Tonks.

As he sipped from the goblet, Remus looked at the other people gathered around the table. Aside from Molly and Hermione, there was also Harry, Ron, Kingsley and Minerva. Remus was relieved to see the later, as he'd recently suspected she might have been taken from Headquarters.

With a small surprise, he also saw Horace Slughorn sitting there, looking as though he felt slightly out of place. Before Remus could ask though, Horace offered up an explanation.

"When Dumbledore was killed, I realized it would be better to die fighting than to just die. I'm going to join the Order.

"When you didn't come back tonight, Molly asked me if I'd kindly mix your potion for you, as you were supposed to start taking it last night," he shrugged, "and I obliged."

However, Remus was only half listening, instead, he was looking past Horace at the person who'd just walked out of the house into the early morning light.

Nymphadora Tonks.

Remus rose and ran to her. She instantly saw him and rushing into his arms.

It was an awkward embrace, but Remus neither cared of gave inclination that he wanted to adjust his stance.

When the kiss ended, Remus swayed on the spot, but refused to let Tonks out of his arms. He never wanted to let her go again, even if she did smell of Greyback and several other foul things.

"Remus," she gasped, "you're holding me too tightly. Come sit down." She urged, and Remus reluctantly let her go and sat down at the table, draining the rest of his potion as he did so, but all the while never taking his eyes off Tonks, who was now seated across from him.

"Are you alright?" He asked, quietly.

"Oh, I'm fine, Remus. I'm just glad to see that you're alright."

"Better not that I've got you back."

Harry looked away embarrassed, but Ron hung on to every word until Hermione gave him a sharp jab with a fork and uttered threateningly, "Don't be rude!"

"Remus," Minerva began, "What's happened to you?"

Remus finally looked away from Tonks and glanced across to Minerva. "Well," he began, and plowed on to tell the rest of the events of the previous night. The he turned to Tonks.

"What happened with you? How did you escape Greyback?"

"Oh, Remus, it was horrible! When you fell, I thought I'd lost you for good. I wanted to die right along side you, or at least be there for you, but Fenrir… I couldn't fight against him, he apparated with me.

"I expected to end up at Headquarters, but we didn't. I have no clue where we ended up, but there were Death Eaters there. Loads of them. I think it was probably The Dark Lord's Headquarters, but I can't be sure."

At this point of her story, Tonks started to weep, her hands covering her face. Remus walked around the table and sat down at her side, taking her in his arms.

"Oh, it's silly of me to cry! I'm safe now… I shouldn't cry," she sniffed into Remus' shoulder.

"Don't talk such nonsense, it's perfectly normal to cry, you must have been so frightened," Remus said soothingly, rubbing her back.

"Let it out dear, let it out," Molly added, as Hermione, sitting on Tonks' other side, gave her hand a comforting squeeze. After several minutes, Tonks seemed to be calm enough to continue.

"He –Fenrir- said the most horrible things. Things he was going to do to me, and how the Order was going to lose to the Dark Lord. And then," she broke off wailing again for a few seconds, "Oh, Lupin, he said the most awful things about you and your past!"

Remus froze; of course Greyback would know all about the secrets Remus kept closer than anything else. But what did he hope to achieve by telling Tonks about his past? If she even believed Greyback, all it would do, probably, was end the relationship between Remus and Tonks, and that didn't seem a very foolhardy way to win a war, or anything.

Remus woke from his thoughts to find Tonks staring at him in a most peculiar way.

"Well, they must have been lies."

Tonks nodded, "Of course, he was just trying to upset me, but I believed you to be dead, I was as upset as I was ever going to be."

The small group sat in silence for a while, each of them reflecting on how it felt to lose a loved one. The only sound was an occasional sniffle from Tonks, and once the crowing of a lone rooster from across the yard.

"I escaped," Tonks said finally, although that fact was obvious.

"It was just like being bullied. They –the Death Eaters – pushed me around and taunted me. It was like they enjoyed toying with their prey before they killed it.

"Bellatrix said she wanted to kill me, something about enjoying killing family. She made taunts about Sirius; she wanted me to be mad when she did it. It didn't work, though, I felt as though I'd never feel anything but agony again. I just wanted to die.

"But then Severus said I wasn't to be killed, because there was more information needed from Lupin, whom he knew was alive. Bellatrix was so shocked that she let me go.

"You were alive, and that gave me a reason to live. I took the opportunity to apparate back here, expecting to find you. That was hours ago, I couldn't believe that you weren't back yet…"

"I'm here now," Remus said solemnly, thinking over some of the details of Tonks' story.

Tonks smiled at him through her tears, as Minerva stood up. "Well, Remus," she started, "you've been our Secret Keeper less than a day and you've already gave away the location of Headquarters. We'll deal with that later, though, for now it would prove a good idea from the other Members to know the location."

Remus remained silent and unmoving, not even giving any indication that he'd heard Minerva's request.

"Remus," she asked, "are you quite alright?"

"Oh? Yes, I'm fine, Minerva," he answered, although it was obvious to everyone present that he wasn't quite alright.

In fact, he hardly seemed alright in anyway. He had begun to run one hand though his graying hair incessantly, while the other hand sat upon the table shaking, just as his whole body was shaking, as though trying to hold back a great opposing force.

Perhaps the most disturbing factor of Remus' blatant lie, however, was his eyes. Normally gentle and amber, they were now wide with emotion, and were starting to grow more and more blazing yellow as the seconds dragged on.

"Professor, are you ill?" Hermione asked as she rose from the table in worry.

It proved to be a smart move on her part, as seconds later Remus lunged across Tonks, pushing her onto the bench where Hermione had been sitting only seconds before.

Everyone at the table jumped up, confused and shocked, as Remus make the sudden move.

Minerva was the first to regain her common sense, "Remus Lupin, what are you doing! Get up, or you'll hurt her!"

Then, quite calmly, aside from the fact that he has managed to wrestle Tonks to the ground and was pinning her down with his knees, Remus answered, "That's the point."

Everyone stood in silent shock at Remus' answer, but not a single one of them was able to gain enough composure to step in, even when Remus reached his hands up and closed them tight around Tonks' throat.


End file.
